Tuesday 17 May 2011

A Bit About Myself

I am very small. I am small in many ways. I can fit into the gap under your skirting board. But also, my voice is small. My feet are small. My hair grows slowly. My hair is flat. No volume. In a way, that makes me smaller. My eyes are small. I do not have good eyesight. My self-esteem is small (sorry).

When I was born, the doctor looked at me and said, Why, You're Unusually Small. My mother was concerned. I could see right up the doctor's nose, and that is my first memory. Looking up a doctor's nose whilst being described as Unusually Small.

Like a mouse. At school, they called me "mouse", just like that, not even capitalised. Smallness, quietness, dullness, all contained within the characteristics of one animal. I've never met a mouse before, but I bet they do not consider themselves "mousey".

I wanted to say, how do you know that elephants are not dull?

How do you know that the elephant in the room is not actually an elephant, and you've just not noticed it because it is so boring that you've zoned it's voice out?

(I consider myself fairly average in all respects)

Some things I like:

-Eating olives. They are almost as big as me, one lasts me a week. Good economics (I try to see the positives).

-Listening to the rain. It's very loud sometimes, and I can pretend that my voice is a normal voice and that the rain is unusually loud rain. Both of these things are actually true when you're as small as I am. Everything is relative.

-Watching nature documentaries. I only get to watch these when you do, I'm too small to reach the television to turn it on. I like sea animals best. Where is the sea?

I like other stuff too, but these are the main things.

I guess, anything else you want to know, just ask.

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